Republican’s Unabashed, Unrequited Love for a Tyrannical Enemy of Freedom
“I love him, I love him, I love him,
And where he goes,
I'll follow, I'll follow, I'll follow.
He'll always be my true love, my true love, my true love
From now until forever, forever, forever”
“(Putin) is a strong leader… He’s making mincemeat out of our President” – Donald Trump
Donald Trump is pure vulgar, traitorous scum – and that’s about the best that can be said of him. For this go round, we will forgo commentary on his publicly professed incestuous desires, the witnessed and testified to child rapes, the admitted serial sexual assaults and the hundreds of illegal business practices /lawsuits, and instead focus on his passionate and unfulfilled crush on Russian President, Vladimir Putin. Now, while Putin does not directly return the amorous ardor that he receives from the President Erect, he does string him along and tease him enough with shirtless, lustful visions of the possibilities ahead that Putin has complete control of Donald’s minute and pliable intellect, and come January 20th, will be the practical and acting leader of the United States of America.
But, sadly and unfortunately, the Fuhrer of 5th Avenue is far from being alone in his articulated admiration, appreciation and veneration for the tyrannical, murdering Muscovite. The rewritten and updated dissertation to follow was originally posted almost 3 years ago, long before some 62 million racists and misogynists cast their ballots for Russian rule and to make America white again. Prominent and powerful Republicans had already fallen head over heels with the cruel autocrat, and many declared their deep disappointment in the fact that Obama, and not Putin, was our country’s Commander in Chief. With the recent revelations of definitive Russian involvement in our now illegitimate election, this golden oldie remains steadfastly relevant, so I share it with you once again.
Revised from March, 2014 -
Ah, our beloved Republicans – so often the staunchest of patriots by self-declaration, while behaving virulently unpatriotic in practice. The current and relevant case in point - the titillating tingle, the erotic exhilaration, the feverish fervor, the enchanted evening experienced whenever seeing shirtless, boy-toy Vladimir Putin across a crowded room. But besides the given, the understood and the obvious that they favor any and every animal, vegetable or mineral to B.H. Obama, what’s to explain this unusual and unexpected, particular affinity between the Communist former KGB agent and America’s Far Right? Perhaps it’s a new sort of love/hate relationship. Conservatives love Putin because they hate the same things - homosexuals, equality, self-expression, self-determination, truth, justice and the American way. It’s a veritable fraternity of abhorrence for these brethren in oppression.
Sure, Righties yak vociferously about freedom and liberty, but their actual actions yell louder than a Sam Kinison/Bobcat Goldthwait comedy throw-down as, red state by even redder state, they attempt to suppress voter rights, quash marriage equality and battle against any societal parity for women, be it in the home, the workplace or the doctor’s office.
Putin has become our Radical Right’s archetypical leader because he can put into practice the policies of intolerance and exclusion that they can only dream of, fantasize about and, no doubt in some cases, even pleasure themselves to. He treads the same political and ideology path as Tea-publicans only with the bonafide power to turn their reactionary hopes, wishes and reveries into repulsive reality. Putin’s social conservatism, religious zealotry in support of a state religion, militarism, homophobia; his belief in his right to invade sovereign nations, to harm and imprison those with whom he disagrees, to feign democracy while rigging elections for oligarchical outcome, make him a CPAC dreamboat.
“Words of Love, Soft and Tender Won’t Win a Girl’s Heart Anymore”- Their Passion for Putin
"I looked the man in the eye. I found him to be very straightforward and trustworthy... I was able to get a sense of his soul." - George W. Bush
“Putin is right on these issues... he has taken a stand to protect his nation’s children from the damaging effects of any gay and lesbian agenda... America’s own morality has fallen so far that on this issue — Russia’s standard is higher than our own." - Franklin Graham
“Putin decides what he wants to do and does it in half a day. He makes a decision and executes it quickly and everybody reacts. That’s what you call a real leader.” – Rudolph Giuliani
“(He’s) the defender of the Christian civilization… the lion of Christianity, the defender of Christian values, the president that’s calling his nation back to embracing its identity as a nation founded on Christian values” - Bryan Fischer, American Family Association
"Vladimir Putin has looked like a statesman" - Pat Buchanan
"He's a statesman, he's a partner in peace and he's in a position where he can lecture the United States of America."- Charles Krauthammer, Syndicated Columnist
"If this were a tennis match it would be the umpire shouting advantage Putin."- Sen. Rand Paul
"Look at Putin -- what he's doing with Russia -- I mean, you know, what's going on over there. I mean this guy has done -- whether you like him or don't like him -- he's doing a great job in rebuilding the image of Russia and also rebuilding Russia period.” – Donald Trump
"I think he's done really a great job of outsmarting our country.” – Donald Trump
"I think I'd get along very well with Vladimir Putin. I just think so.” – Donald Trump
"He's running his country and at least he's a leader, unlike what we have in this country. I think our country does plenty of killing also." – Donald Trump
"I don't think he has any respect for Clinton. I think he respects me. I think it would be great to get along with him.” – Donald Trump
“I always knew he was very smart!” – Donald Trump
How Do They Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways - Putin’s Resume
"Millions around the world increasingly see America not as a model of democracy but as relying solely on brute force, cobbling coalitions together under the slogan, 'You're either with us or against us.'" - Vladimir Putin
Before the GOP files the legal documentation for the official nomenclature change to Good Old Putin, some lowlights from the matinee idol who sets Trumpsters hearts aflutter and launches libidos into overdrive -
Anyone with a remote control is aware of Russia’s annexation of Crimea and its installation of soldiers on the Ukraine border (Obama’s fault, of course) but a U.S. State Department study reveals the wide-ranging extent of Putin’s human right’s violations. He has suppressed dissent, persecuted LGBT citizens, ignored the rule of law and allowed killing and torture by police -
“… allegations of torture and excessive force by law enforcement officials, life-threatening prison conditions, interference in the judiciary and the right to a fair trial, restrictions on freedom of speech and press, restrictions on free assembly and association, restrictions on religious freedom of some religious minorities, electoral irregularities, widespread corruption, societal and official intimidation of civil society and labor activists, violence against women and limits on the rights of women in certain regions, trafficking in persons, and limitations on workers’ rights… Reports from human rights groups and former police officers indicated that police most often used electric shocks, suffocation, and stretching or applying pressure to joints and ligaments, as those methods are less prone to leave visible marks.”
Then, of course, a particular favorite of America’s holier than thou population is Putin’s “Don’t Say Gay” bill, which makes it unlawful to inform children of the existence of homosexuality or to equate homosexuality with heterosexuality in any way. Violators face fines, jail time, and immediate deportation (the latter being much more of a reward than a punishment.) Resulting violence against members of the LGBT community has skyrocketed as police not only provide no protection but actively participate in the brutality (actions many U.S. Bible-thumpers label, “defending our religious liberties.”)
Treason: a violation of allegiance to one’s state
From the day of Barack Obama’s inauguration, continuing through Russia’s installation of Donald Trump as their puppet ruler, Republicans have demonstrated, time and again, their disloyalty to America and to its foundation and principles. And their voracious, vocal and vehement exaltation for Russian President Vladimir Putin is merely a continuation and most contemporary communication of that outlook.
Ironically and irrationally, while GOP supporters spent 8 years painting our president a Communist, their pulses race wildly for a genuine, card-carrying member of the Stalinist flock, preferring a ruthless, dictatorial, Bolshevik foreign leader to an American, democratically-elected President whose ascension and whose biography is the living embodiment of the American Dream. The Right Wing’s problem with pigmentation perception is tragically sad, and pragmatically perilous for, when all is said and done, no matter the harrowing consequences, in the cocktail lounge of global politics a Conservative will always chose a White Russian over a Black and Tan.
We conclude as Little Peggy March performs the GOP anthem, “I Will Follow Him.”
Any comments, questions, criticisms, candid confessions, cash contributions? Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.