Thursday, June 23, 2016

Top Ten Irrefutable Facts about Donald Trump Supporters

“The one thing this man has going for him, was the common people in large numbers flocked to hear him speak, and tell them of the great things he aspired to do for them. Donald Trump fits this description. The last time I heard a story like this, the man’s name was Jesus Christ… in the political arena, among the common people and the establishment, he is just like him.” - D. Ortiz, Trump Supporter

As is the case with 93 percent of the deceitful declarations by the pro-tem presidential candidate, himself - pro-tem because come July 22nd, the day after the conclusion of the Republican Convention, D.J. Trump will be dust in the wind, extremely loud and annoying dust in the wind, but all he’ll be is dust in the wind, nevertheless, and whomever the sacrificial lamb appointed to replace him as the GOP nominee is, he or she (who are we kidding, it will be the usual white guy) can begin preparing a concession speech to be delivered in November to President Clinton II – the list to follow involved no research, very likely contains not a single grain of fact, mostly fancy, and is guaranteed to offend a sizeable segment of U.S. citizenry.

So, attempt to contain your umbrage and outrage, exceedingly sensitive Donald devotees, for this is just a bit of comedy fluff – a highly disparaging bit of comedy fluff for certain, but if you wish to sic that malicious, egomaniacal, mangy mongrel; that hateful, bigoted, misogynistic, ignorant, dangerous sociopath, on our great country and indeed on the entire planet, you truly do deserve far, far worse than a soupcon of satirical jabbing – loss of the right to vote, revoked citizenship, an hour at a kissing booth with Sarah Palin, a good old-fashioned tar and feathering, a dunk tank full of piranhas, are mayhaps all good possibilities worthy of consideration. When your insolent idol ignites enmity and malevolence toward women, immigrants, minorities, veterans, P.O.W.s and the disabled, and you chhuckle and cheer in abominable accord, surely you can stomach a gentle jest or two.

I do doubt the presence of Trumpeters perusing these often prescient pages, however, the proliferation of polysyllabic words alone would pose quite the stumbling block. But, while Trump is the biggest insult to the electoral process in the history of these United States, and presents a dangerous dilemma of pacaderm-like proportions, it is these supporters who have gleefully, hatefully and stupidly carried him to this prominent place of potential power, and present the more pressing problem. He will be gone, but they will remain. He is but one Mephistopheles, they are many millions.

And so, with gratitude and apologies to David Letterman -

Top Ten Irrefutable Facts about a Donald Trump Supporter

10. You’re upset about the Bill Cosby case because you always considered him “one of the good ones.”

9. The Orlando mass shooting has left you confused as you revile Muslims and homosexuals equally.

8. You don’t even speak a “first language.”

7. When you say “the good old days” you mean the 1850’s.

6. You misread his slogan as “Make America Hate Again.”

5. A cat is both your pet and the word that knocked you out of the spelling bee.

4. According to P.T. Barnum, one of you is born every minute.

3. You’re the reason manufacturers feel the need to put directions on shampoo bottles, and in one word sentences - Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

2. You believe Adolph Hitler was just misunderstood.

1. The letters PhD will never, ever, ever follow your name on any document.


Any comments, questions, criticisms, candid confessions, cash contributions?  Contact me at butchersaprons@mail.com.

Monday, June 13, 2016

The War We Will Never Win - Gun Nuts, the NRA and GOP Wage War on America

“Man reaps what he sows” – Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick in response to the fatal targeting of homosexuals

“Need a gift for #FathersDay? How about a gift from the #NRA store?!” – the first NRA tweet after the Orlando Massacre

Here we find ourselves, once again, with another senseless, tragic mass shooting, this time, the worst in our country’s long, violent and bullet-riddled history; with another legally purchased and licensed military assault weapon in the bloody hands of a mentally disturbed, American born and bred, bigoted civilian.  For a scant day or two, people will pretend they care, and write of prayer and thoughts for the victims, along with other equally easy, worthless, pointless and useless platitudes; but as is always the case, no action will be taken to prevent homicidal maniacs from getting guns, because ensuring unfettered and unlimited access to weapons is what the United States of the NRA really cares most about. The usual idiots will spout the usual idiocy declaring the actual problem to be the lack of firearms in America, and the solution being a good old fashioned, 19th century cowboy movie shootout within the environs of a dance club.  Time to remove our stunted imaginations from the fantasy world of a back-lot, black and white, John Wayne shoot-em-up, and accept the factual realization that we are rapidly becoming a sad joke of a nation, now best known around the world for our regularly scheduled mass shootings, and Donald Trump.

“Appreciate the congrats for being right on radical Islamic terrorism… ” – Donald Trump

This weapon is not designed for self-defense but, rather, solely for military use, and is intended specifically to kill as many people as quickly and efficiently as possible. It is not protected by the 2nd Amendment - a severely antiquated proclamation, conceived in the age of muskets, which in some more advanced and enlightened U.S.A., should we survive and find a reasonable and livable existence post-Trump and his dangerously vile supporters, will hopefully be seriously reconsidered, if not completely repealed.

Why is this ongoing battle one in which we are very unlikely to ever emerge alive and victorious – it is a war against ourselves. Somewhere along the line, the red, white and blue decided that guns are more important than human lives, and that our very children are an acceptable sacrifice on the altar of the Smith and Wesson. Should you doubt that premise, I now take temporary leave of my verbosity to allow genuine reactions to the Orlando shooting tell the true, sad tale of the distinctly American worship of the sidearm and the semi-automatic, above all else.

These statements have not been edited or altered, the various misspellings and grammatical errors are true to the intended sentiments of the authors. The names are not revealed, so as to protect the guilty from the fallout of their own astounding prejudices and stupidity.

Voices of American Doom

Steven W. – “Not withstanding the terrorist committed murder 50 times, but maybe some of the gays will consider their lifestyle is an abomination to our Creator?! Just sayin'....”

Diane B. – “I think this is a conspiracy!! Our enemies are doing this so our government can disarm us and they are falling for it.”

Joseph A. – “ Who's the know if Obama orchestrated this?”

Lindy R. – “This is why you do not accept any mid east in our nation now for you no not who your enemy is, just like wirh japanese , you gather them up ship them out , build a wall to keep enemy out! and obama, hillary want to pour them in , this is insane, but for tratiors to this nation it is typical!”

Midge W. – “We need to get the Muslim out of the White House!!!


Ray B. – “TIME to depose all muslims from office and rid them of our country!!!!


Henry C. - “Ironic that the people who think Trump is a racism for wanting to make sure people who come to America are not Muslim Extremist, are the ones being killed for being gay. The ones saying he is a sexist, yet Trump is not the one who thinks all women have to cover their faces. If Obama and Hillary get there way there will no gays in America and Hillary would have to cover her face. They better be careful what they wish for!”

Steve B. – “Rise up America and arm yourselves, help protect your loved ones and people you care about. We need to beat down this Islamic threat and send it back to where it came from.

Alexander S. - “Ban Islam - save our country!

Joanne I. – “The solution is everyone should be armed and able to defend themselves

Clark T. - “This is reason enough to arm our selves!!! Not take our guns! The real terrorists are the politicians that want to take our gun rights away and not blame radical Islam !!!!

Howie M. – “Apparently our Government under the Islamic Sympathizer in Chief, is not prepared to take the action necessary, so that leaves US. It's going to get done sooner rather than later & AMERICANS WILL END THIS. There is no police force or Armed Force at Obama's, or for that matter Hillary's disposal, that can stand up to the Armed American Public, sorry, but the numbers just don't add up, so they and their cronies had better be prepared to get the hell out of the way. Donald Trump gets it, which is why last Night's Massacre has guaranteed he will be elected, if the election ever takes place, & Hillary doesn't put out a hit on him? I just want to know one thing, can we reserve tickets to the executions now?, or do we have to wait for them to go on sale to the general public through Ticketron?”

We are a nation born of gunpowder, weaned on blood and raised on hatred and prejudice, with a lengthy history of perpetrating violence and death upon our own – we exterminated native peoples, enslaved Africans and interred American citizens of Japanese descent – all innocents sacrificed for the American dream and the benefit of the wealthy and empowered. And as witnessed by the vulgar voices above, a certain segment of society still wishes to reign death upon the country and will not be satisfied until we destroy each other in an apocalyptic flurry of deadly gunfire.

No more prayers, no more good thoughts, no more debating, no more discussion, no more capitulation to the deep pockets of the NRA., no more blood staining the streets. President Obama must sign an executive order to ban assault weapons immediately, and then let Congress go ahead and fight against him, the future of our nation, and the lives of our children.

It's truly this simple, if you don't think guns are the problem, congratulations, you are correct. You're the problem.

“There’s something happening here, what it is ain’t exactly clear.
There’s a man with a gun over there, telling me, I got to beware.” – Stephen Stills

Any comments, questions, criticisms, candid confessions, cash contributions?  Contact me at butchersaprons@mail.com.

Saturday, June 4, 2016

(2037) The Funeral of Donald Trump – A Futuristic Forecast

“But you tell me over and over and over again my friend
Ah, you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction” – Barry McGuire

I imagine that a cursory glance at this post’s title might lead one to believe something controversial this way comes. Let me be clear, am I calling for Donald Trump’s demise? Umm, err, (stutter, stutter)… no! This is neither present day flight of fancy, nor profound prophecy, but rather a highly imaginary, fictionalized, dystopian envisioning of the possibilities and aftermath of a Trump presidency - meant to entertain, not to become part of history’s reportage.

Again, Secret Service, FBI, CIA, NRA, KKK, YWCA or PTA this is neither a threat, nor a call for a hit on this worthless, parasitic slug of an almost human being, just a little verse about the worst.

(2037) The Funeral of Donald Trump

“Our God is dead!”
The headlines read
In Trump Times and on Trump Cable.
Donald Junior's in charge
On his throne, living large,
As the Trump Manifesto enabled.

There’s a line of succession
You’ll be shot if you question.
Next in turn, his most current wife/daughter
An in-family conception
Born of Donald’s oppression
Of Ivanka, initial wife/daughter.

Neo Nazis were there
Guns held proudly in air.
While the KKK played honor guard.
Only whites now are free,
By the first Trump decree
But for slaves, all the rest have been barred.

The poor kneel in the street
Beg for scraps of Trump Meat
Though they fear that it’s processed from people.
Then they rise to their feet
Ordered off to retreat
For a vigil at Trump Church and Steeple.

Then, of course, there’s the flag
Once a tri-colored rag,
Now, an image of Don’s snarling lips.
And the dollar, past tense
Also gone are the cents,
As we pay now with Trump Blackjack chips.

No more Senate, no House
No nine judges to grouse,
No long-winded and old Constitution.
Declaration repealed,
For the Art of the Deal.
And a nation cries for absolution.

 “Don't you understand, what I'm trying to say?
Can't you feel the fears that I'm feeling today?
If the button is pushed, there's no running away
There'll be none to save with the world in a grave
Take a look around you, boy, it's bound to scare you, boy”

Any comments, questions, criticisms, candid confessions, cash contributions?  Contact me at butchersaprons@mail.com.