Monday, February 23, 2015

Interpreting Giuliani for the Sane – The Unfortunate Aftermath of a Monkey Gaining the Power of Speech

... speak much evil

The reality behind the self-made myth that turns an invented hero into an authentic zero

“He doesn’t love you. And he doesn’t love me.” – R. Giuliani

“Any love is good love
So I took what I could get, yes I took what I could get” – R. Bachman

As with all matters of gravity and import, the Giuliani commentary to follow had its genesis as a Facebook exchange. Somewhere amongst the irritated kitties, the selfies with dinner and the uninformed expressions of love or loathing for a chosen religion/political ideology, some valuable, fact-filled information was shared. And so we commence with a little verbatim discourse culled from Mark Zuckerberg’s enriching invention.

The Social Network

nycityman  Desperately trying to remain relevant. Desperately trying to stay in the public eye. And in the process, revealing what lowbrow, lowlife trash he is. Sarah Palin with a comb over. And just a little reminder about his character, while still mayor and still married to Donna Hanover, he moved his mistress into Gracie Mansion.

The Giuliani trade-in
nycitywoman  Forget about the mistress, he's responsible for the deaths and illnesses of an uncountable number of people. I just refreshed my memory on his 9/11 fantasy heroism. Among many other horrible deadly decisions he made, he knew the radios didn't work for 7 years after they failed in the first World Trade Center bombing. Shortly after they were finally replaced in 2001 they discovered the new ones didn't work either. And so on September 11th they didn't work when the firemen were ordered to evacuate the buildings. That's why all the firemen and police and emergency workers hate his guts - they hold him responsible. But somehow he exploited our post 9/11 gullible desperation for a hero and managed to twist the truth into his being some sort of savior leader to the city and firemen and cops in particular! He is a despicable horror story of a human being. I have no doubt Barack Obama loves America much more than Rudy Giuliani does. Rudy only loves Rudy.

Continuing the theme of shameless self promotion - Giuliani claimed on August 9, 2007 that "I was at Ground Zero as often, if not more, than most workers.... I was there working with them. I was exposed to exactly the same things they were exposed to. So in that sense, I'm one of them." The New York Times did a study a week after this statement and found that Giuliani had been at Ground Zero a total of 29 hours over a THREE MONTH period! Less than 10 hours a month. Less than 20 minutes a day. Basically about as long as you need to make a speech and have a photo op.
nycityman In his defense, it's true Obama wasn't raised as Rudy was. Obama's father wasn't a Mob enforcer and Sing Sing resident like Rudy's. As a young man, Rudy married his cousin; Obama also lacked that kind of upbringing. On the plus side, as Rudy has this history of keeping the lovin’ within the same gene pool and DNA profile, I guess we should be grateful he doesn’t have a sister. Of course, that could help him garner support in the South should he ever ponder another run for nationwide office.
Pops Giuliani
“It wasn’t the airplanes, it was beauty killed the beast.”

The inability of the anti-science Republicans to believe in or comprehend the fact of evolution is starting to make a modicum more sense.  Judging by biography and behavior, it’s clear that the ex-Mayor of Gotham has not developed much beyond that of a simian stage.
Rudy's first wheels
In this fractious fracas, Giuliani started out far over the top, like an improv showdown between Nathan Lane and Jim Carrey, and with each ensuing and disastrous attempt to rectify or rationalize his bilious bout of verbal dysentery, merely managed to ascend to even greater heights of hatred, idiocy and intolerance. And now, the one time “America’s Mayor” finds himself justifiably friendless and ally free, like Gilbert O’Sullivan, “Alone Again Naturally.”

Lost in Translation – Rudy’s Words for Non-Tea Partiers
1. What Rudy said - “I do not believe, and I know this is a horrible thing to say, but I do not believe that the president loves America.  He doesn’t love you. And he doesn’t love me. He wasn’t brought up the way you were brought up and I was brought up, through love of this country.”
What Rudy meant – “He’s black.”
2. What Rudy said - “Some people thought it was racist — I thought that was a joke, since he was brought up by a white mother, a white grandfather, went to white schools, and most of this he learned from white people.”

What Rudy meant – “In case I was unclear previously, I hold no particular fondness for anyone with a skin tone darker than Julianne Moore’s.”

3. What Rudy said - “I want an American president to raise our spirits again, like a Ronald Reagan.”

What Rudy meant - “Which he did by trading arms with our Iranian enemies, tripling the deficit and training, arming and funding Bin Laden and the Taliban – those are the acts of a real American and a true patriot.”

4. What Rudy said - “I don’t (see) this President as being particularly a product of African-American society or something like that. He isn’t. Logically, think about his background. . . The ideas that are troubling me and are leading to this come from communists with whom he associated when he was 9 years old… Look, this man was brought up basically in a white family, so whatever he learned or didn’t learn, I attribute this more to the influence of communism and socialism.”

What Rudy meant – “Does anyone have David Duke’s home phone number?”

Sure he's tough, but he also has a tender side
“If I caused you pain, I know I'm to blame
Must have been insane, believe me
From the bottom of my heart, dear I apologize

Rudolph William Louis "Rudy" Giuliani, son of the Mafia, incestuous lover and mistress keeper, deeply and desperately needs to grovel like the lower life form that he is, in the name of common decency and for any futile hopes of maintaining a viable and fruitful public life and profile. The sincere “so sorrys” need to begin with our President and his family, should continue on to the true champions of bravery and gallantry for which he has consistently claimed credit since that tragic September morn in 2001 and conclude with a mea culpa to every African-American citizen across the great 48 (plus Alaska and Hawaii, except 50 doesn’t rhyme.) But, as with so many men of false bravado and feigned swagger, “I’m wrong” and “sorry” seem to be the hardest words. So, in lieu of the preening primate ever fessing up to his faults, we close with the legendary Billy Eckstine performing his classic, “I Apologize.” On a more personal note, the song is dedicated to the memory of nycitywoman's Mom, a lover of good music and Mr. B's artistry.
Any comments, questions, criticisms, candid confessions, cash contributions?  Contact me at butchersaprons@mail.com.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Live from New York - A Half Term Governor in a Nutshell

Two grifters, off to see the world...
A Brief Rumination on a Ruination

“It looks like you and Al Sharpton are friends!?!??? Why would you allow yourself to be photographed with that Lib???” – Katherine P.

“WTF were you doing smiling next to the POS Sharpton?!?!?” – Janee S.

“Well, it's no big sin to stick your two cents in
If you know when to leave it alone
But you went over the line
You couldn't see it was time to go home
No, no, no, no, no, no, you had to be a big shot, didn't ya’’ – Billy Joel

Sarah Palin – idol of the illiterate, goddess of the gullible, doyenne of the dense, daft, and dropped on their heads herd. Her millions of mislead minions believe all she spews, repeat her rancorous rhetoric and donate their dollars to a race she will never run. Yet, despite this obedient, unbridled devotion to a dolt, the Wasilla witch recently committed a sin so odious and unforgivable that even these disciples of so little discrimination have begun questioning the legitimacy of their loyalty – she joined hands with the Liberal, Communist, Muslim Brotherhood, Atheist, Anti-Christian, America-hating, show biz elite and participated in the Saturday Night Live 40th Anniversary celebration.

It didn't take Taylor Swift long to discover that there was one situation
 so unbearable that even she couldn't shake it off.

Perhaps, now, the time has finally arrived for the  Palin faithful to open their peepers and peer into the reality of a selfish and covetous con artist who has been scamming them for years to increase the cash flow into her coffers. Only the most guileless among us should find any surprise in the ex-pageant queen cavalierly casting aside her off-stated (and so often bizarrely and nonsensically stated) principles and opinions to gallop gracelessly toward an available camera and microphone,  as well into the waiting Progressive embraces of the likes of the excitable Alec Baldwin and that home-made holy man Al Sharpton.

“Sharpton is my ENEMY. It is not a joke. I’m disappointed. I would still follow you to Hell and back but this leaves a bad taste.” – Doug D.

“Why, Sarah, why?” – Slavomir S.

Who Sarah Is

Every sound-bite, every television appearance, every Facebook post, every word ever written about Palin, and most importantly, every sentiment she’s every expressed about herself, like a Readers Digest Alaska edition, can easily be condensed down to the following two simple and straightforward sentences of truths -  
Sarah Palin represents everything terribly wrong that results from our nation’s endless and incessant cult of celebrity. She’s nothing more than the Tea Party’s Kim Kardashian, whose every utterance is in service of self-aggrandizement, self-promotion and greed.

Lacking proficiency in both reading comprehension and verbal communication,
Alec Baldwin and Lorne Michaels teach Sarah her one sketch line using Hooked on Phonics.

We close with Billy Joel’s ireful indictment of a similar shallow sort who also lingered too long at the fair - Big Shot.

Any comments, questions, criticisms, candid confessions, cash contributions?  Contact me at butchersaprons@mail.com.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Americans Sniping – the Unsophisticated Debate over a Mediocre Movie

"[American Sniper] is just ‘American hero!’ He's a psychopath patriot, and we love him." – Bill Maher

"Hollywood leftists: while caressing shiny plastic trophies you exchange among one another while spitting on the graves of freedom fighters… you're not fit to shine Chris Kyle's combat boots.” – Sarah Palin

“He has sounded for the trumpet that shall never call retreat
He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment seat
Oh, be swift, my soul to answer Him, be jubilant, my feet”

Having recently seen American Sniper, like a Greg Louganis of political and partisan folderol, it’s time to dumpster dive headfirst into the pool of murk, misinformation and malfeasance that is the disingenuous debate surrounding this middling motion picture.

Why middling?  American Sniper is snail-paced, needlessly lengthy and drawn out; an often uncomfortable to watch, hard to follow string of questionably shot battle scenes that do little to advance what minimal story and minute character development there is. Any profundity or true depth of narrative lives primarily in the minds of the viewer and his or her knowledge of recent history. The collection of award nominations and its weekly box office success comes not from the quality of the filmmaking but rather the pointless polemic currently swirling desperately and purposelessly from the talking heads, politicians, pundits and other similar self-anointed seers, seekers and soothsayers, ardent admirers all of the sounds of their own mellifluous tones, unearthing non-existent film-based arguments with which to propel their individual agendas, celebrity and points of view.

“Every utterance from this vast wasteland atop my shoulders is purely for self-aggrandizement. Thanks for still inexplicably listening. Umm, I don't know what most of those words mean!"
While my, one time fashionable, Eugene McCarthy/George McGovern upbringing would suggest an automatic mind-meld with the severe critiques from the left, and a joyful journey on the Progressive bandwagon, as so vociferously, publically and shallowly represented by Bill Maher, among other lesser spot-lit Liberals; to do so would be to abandon the arena of thoughtful nuance and rational reason and instead dwell in the sometimes more satisfying, always more volatile, domain of black and white and right or wrong. Unfortunately, truth rarely resides in the easy answer and the clever sound bite, and instead endures in shades of subtlety and graduated grey tones. The issues discussed and debated are not black and white, hero or villain, Maher or Palin, few things in life are that simple, war never is.

Despite what you’ve most likely heard, American Sniper is not the rah-rah, Conservative, pro-war film that so many on the left are claiming.  And before getting judgmental on the nature of heroism and acceptable forms of warfare, some perspective warrants consideration – less than 1% of our population enlists to engage in all our, far too frequent, wars and for the most part, it’s not we Northeastern Liberal elites donning the khaki and boarding the F-16 Fighting Falcons. To criticize these voluntary defenders and their behavior with no knowledge but a theatrical release, and no first-hand experience whatsoever, is both unfair and unwise. To comment on the conduct of those placed in such unusual and undeniably violent and constantly life-threatening circumstances is equally unjust and iniquitous, if not arguably foolish. Whether these wars are justified or necessary, those who participate in them are patriots committed to the protection of the country that they love. Who among us, that has not put on the uniform ourselves, has any right to condemn or question those sincere feelings and intents?

Which begs the question, has there been a conflict since World War II that has necessitated America’s involvement and that could possibly ethically, or in any other manner, legitimately support the immense loss of life and limb of both our own countrymen or those of our sometimes imagined and always temporary enemies?
“I know true courage under fire, once my chauffeur was 15 minutes late getting me to the People’s Choice Awards!”
The controversy that has arisen over American Sniper addresses the wrong issues. The contentious conversation shouldn't center around which acts of war are moral or justified, or what constitutes individual heroism when placed in such extreme and unnatural circumstances. Our nation's real moral dilemma is the question of why we are putting our young men and women in such situations to begin with by sending them to fight in these unnecessary wars of choice.

In conclusion, Judy Garland, the most naturally talented human being to ever be born upon this orbiting sphere we refer to as Earth (sorry, Kanye) performs the patriotic anthem, Battle Hymn of the Republic.

Any comments, questions, criticisms, candid confessions, cash contributions?  Contact me at butchersaprons@mail.com.