Satan Renovates Hell in Preparation for Trump Presidency
“I heard that he said something about groping women, and I’m thinking, okay, number one, I think that’d be great. I like getting groped! I’m heterosexual. I’m a woman… Groping is a healthy thing to do. When you’re a heterosexual, you grope, okay? It’s a good thing. Try it.” – Jane Biddick (Trump follower)
Great news for Trump supporters, we here at “… and several butcher’s aprons” have received information from some very credible inside sources, further confirmed by my natural connections to the Netherworld as an avowed Atheist that, because of anticipated increased demand, Beelzebub himself, the being Donald hung posters of in his boyhood bedroom right next to his cheesecake photos of Hitler and autographs of John Birch, is adding a new wing to Hell, currently under construction (it's yuuuge, believe me) exclusively to accommodate Trump and the ever-growing, mindless and malicious millions who defend this admitted sexual assaulter and soon to be tried child rapist, and who viciously attack the innocent women that Trump has already viciously attacked. So, congrats, make believe moral high-grounders and counterfeit Christians - eternity with your hero is in your grasp! Pack light and keep the furs, parkas and muffs of all kind behind.
While maintaining serious doubts that those who rally behind this tiny-handed totalitarian and minutely-endowed dictator would either seek out this blog or even possess sufficient skill in reading proficiency to comprehend its contents, the chance remains that a Trumpeter or two could unwittingly happen upon this page while searching for more Trump-appropriate hater-fare as KKKids Say the Darndest Things, Black Lives Don’t Matter, Rape Aficionado, Incest Illustrated, Popular Lynchings, Make America Hate Again, P**sy Grabber Fancier, Statutory Liberty or Putin Pin-ups. And any atom of enlightenment they may somehow assimilate, even accidentally, would increase their current catalog of knowledge by infinite proportions.
November 9th – A Trump Voter’s Dream
On the day after Election Day, the Trump voter awakens to a White House (strongly stressing “white”) occupied by Donald Trump and now gaudily gilded in gold, with Trump’s name plastered in large letters all about the exterior. “Their” nation is now totally devoid of African-Americans, Latinos, Gays, Muslims, Jews and Atheists. The entire perimeter of the country is walled in and all immigration has been halted. Women are now restricted to the kitchen and the bedroom, never to stray elsewhere, and must submit to every whim of their husbands, or risk facing physically violent wrath, as now legally permitted by Trump decree. Every man woman, child and domesticated animal open carries armaments, preferably automatic assault weapons, and should any of the banned and previously mentioned undesirables dare return with the mistaken belief that America is still the land of freedom and equality, the remaining “real Americans” are legally free and prepared to use said weapons in defense of the fascism they so willfully, lovingly and ignorantly embraced.
“Maybe you have to be a 70 year old, white male from the South to know what ‘Make America Great Again’ means. I know what it really means.” – Bill Clinton
No evidence, no accusations, no admissions, no confessions of his multitudinal misdeeds and immoralities, his mounting tally of misdemeanors and felonies, whether caught on tape or witnessed live, will shake the unwavering worship of the great unwashed and grievously unlearned. Presented with a video of their oppressive oligarch repeatedly assaulting Mother Theresa, their response would be to call her the “C” word and accuse her of asking for it.
This pathetic, continued championing from Trump proponents and apologists is clear demonstration that idolatry has transformed to deification. If you consider yourself a Christian, while you “should have no other gods before me” yet endorse this hate-filled, sub-human, worthless parasite who embodies everything that makes humanity weak, wicked and cowardly, it may be time to turn in your crucifix and start sleeping in late on Sundays.
A Final Beseechment Before Your Vote is Cast
Donald Trump was never a serious candidate. He's never been a serious man. This 18 month international nightmare has been naught but an extreme exercise in massive self-absorption and an expansion of the boundaries of reality television. A vote for Trump is a vote to end this noble experiment in Democracy that is (was?) the United States of America. A vote for Trump is a vote to crash the world's economy and to bid your saving's accounts, 401Ks and investments a fond farewell. A vote for Trump is a vote to destroy your children's future. And you, who so foolishly do this, do so only to fulfill the narcissistic delusions of grandeur of a serial sexual criminal and deranged sociopath. Once done, and this demonic die has been cast, your deadly decision is unalterable, and as a country we can but beg forgiveness from the rest of the world for the inexcusable evil we have done to them.
“Well I know that I'm damned if I never get out,
And maybe I'm damned if I do,
But with every other beat I've got left in my heart,
You know I want to be damned with you.” - Meatloaf
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