Satan Renovates Hell in Preparation for Trump Presidency
“I heard that he said something about groping women, and I’m
thinking, okay, number one, I think that’d be great. I like getting groped! I’m
heterosexual. I’m a woman… Groping is a healthy thing to do. When you’re a
heterosexual, you grope, okay? It’s a good thing. Try it.” – Jane Biddick
(Trump follower)
Great news for Trump supporters, we here at “… and several
butcher’s aprons” have received information from some very credible inside
sources, further confirmed by my natural connections to the Netherworld as an
avowed Atheist that, because of anticipated increased demand, Beelzebub himself,
the being Donald hung posters of in his boyhood bedroom right next to his
cheesecake photos of Hitler and autographs of John Birch, is adding a new wing
to Hell, currently under construction (it's yuuuge, believe me) exclusively to
accommodate Trump and the ever-growing, mindless and malicious millions who
defend this admitted sexual assaulter and soon to be tried child rapist, and who
viciously attack the innocent women that Trump has already viciously attacked.
So, congrats, make believe moral high-grounders and counterfeit Christians - eternity
with your hero is in your grasp! Pack light and keep the furs, parkas and muffs
of all kind behind.
While maintaining serious doubts that those who rally behind this
tiny-handed totalitarian and minutely-endowed dictator would either seek out
this blog or even possess sufficient skill in reading proficiency to comprehend
its contents, the chance remains that a Trumpeter or two could unwittingly happen
upon this page while searching for more Trump-appropriate hater-fare as KKKids
Say the Darndest Things, Black Lives Don’t Matter, Rape Aficionado, Incest Illustrated,
Popular Lynchings, Make America Hate Again, P**sy Grabber Fancier, Statutory Liberty
or Putin Pin-ups. And any atom of enlightenment they may somehow
assimilate, even accidentally, would increase their current catalog of
knowledge by infinite proportions.
November
9th – A Trump Voter’s Dream
On the day after Election Day, the Trump voter awakens to a
White House (strongly stressing “white”) occupied by Donald Trump and now
gaudily gilded in gold, with Trump’s name plastered in large letters all about
the exterior. “Their” nation is now
totally devoid of African-Americans, Latinos, Gays, Muslims, Jews and Atheists. The
entire perimeter of the country is walled in and all immigration has been
halted. Women are now restricted to the kitchen and the bedroom, never to stray
elsewhere, and must submit to every whim of their husbands, or risk facing
physically violent wrath, as now legally permitted by Trump decree. Every man
woman, child and domesticated animal open carries armaments, preferably
automatic assault weapons, and should any of the banned and previously
mentioned undesirables dare return with the mistaken belief that America is
still the land of freedom and equality, the remaining “real Americans” are
legally free and prepared to use said weapons in defense of the fascism they so
willfully, lovingly and ignorantly embraced.
“Maybe
you have to be a 70 year old, white male from the South to know what ‘Make
America Great Again’ means. I know what it really means.” – Bill Clinton
No evidence, no accusations, no admissions, no confessions of
his multitudinal misdeeds and immoralities, his mounting tally of misdemeanors
and felonies, whether caught on tape or witnessed live, will shake the
unwavering worship of the great unwashed and grievously unlearned. Presented
with a video of their oppressive oligarch repeatedly assaulting Mother Theresa,
their response would be to call her the “C” word and accuse her of asking for
it.
This pathetic, continued championing from Trump proponents
and apologists is clear demonstration that idolatry has transformed to
deification. If you consider yourself a
Christian, while you “should have no other gods before me” yet endorse this
hate-filled, sub-human, worthless parasite who embodies everything that makes
humanity weak, wicked and cowardly, it may be time to turn in your crucifix
and start sleeping in late on Sundays.
A
Final Beseechment Before Your Vote is Cast
Donald Trump was never a serious candidate. He's never been a
serious man. This 18 month international nightmare has been naught but an extreme
exercise in massive self-absorption and an expansion of the boundaries of
reality television. A vote for Trump is
a vote to end this noble experiment in Democracy that is (was?) the United
States of America. A vote for Trump is a
vote to crash the world's economy and to bid your saving's accounts, 401Ks and
investments a fond farewell. A vote for Trump is a vote to destroy your
children's future. And you, who so foolishly do this, do so only to fulfill the
narcissistic delusions of grandeur of a serial sexual criminal and deranged
sociopath. Once done, and this demonic die has been cast, your deadly decision
is unalterable, and as a country we can but beg forgiveness from the rest of
the world for the inexcusable evil we have done to them.
“Well I know that I'm damned if I never get out,
And maybe I'm damned if I do,
But with every other beat I've got left in my heart,
You know I want to be damned with you.” - Meatloaf
Any comments, questions, criticisms, compliments, candid
confessions, cash contributions? Contact me at butchersaprons@mail.com.
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