Saturday, August 8, 2015

Signs of the Apocalypse, Part 1 – GOP Presidential Campaign Posters

“Segregation, determination, demonstration, integration
Aggravation, humiliation, obligation to my nation
Ball of confusion” – Whitfield/Strong

If you’re like me, (well, I’m genuinely sorry, I understand there are very effective medications that can be of some help now) the start of the debate season officially kicking off the 2016 Presidential Campaign is your Christmas Eve, your honeymoon, your opportunity to finally order this year’s Girl Scout Cookies from that pushy and obnoxious co-worker, who has yet to produce any substantial evidence of actually having a daughter.  MSNBC is our Playboy Channel and the voting booth, our peep show.

If you viewed the GOP debates earlier this week, the prime time varsity game and the early bird special JV scrimmage (again, my most sincere sympathies) you were witness to the unfortunate fact that, much like the arousal-challenged older gentlemen in the television Cialis ads, these twelve dozen or so fumbling, flailing and flaccid participants could benefit from some earnestly intended outside assistance and support in successfully launching their election erections, and maintaining even the slimmest of hopes in challenging the inevitable (just ask her) Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton in the vote tally tournament that will determine the next four year occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Being the loving, caring, sympathetic and charitable sorts that we are here at “… and several butcher’s aprons,” (the Oprah’s of annoying attitudinal blogs) please allow us to rush swiftly, if not even fool-heartedly, into the breach, with this presentation of new Republican campaign posters, a unique one for each of the 365 declared candidates.

Due to the unusually large number of constitutional combatants this time around, this edition will be divided into two separate postings. Today, we begin with the lucky ten who topped the polling and so advanced into the 9 pm evening finals. In half a fortnight (for those of you not an 18th century fop, a week), you will find the follow up, featuring the set of seven who competed while we all commuted home from our places of employment (or were watching Judge Mathis, instead.)

Enjoy. Share with friends. Share with the candidates. Share the love. Each meme can be enlarged for easier reading with a mere click of the mouse.

As the legendary, tempting Temptations so eloquently and alarmingly expressed it, “Great googamooga, can't you hear me talking to you? It’s a ball of confusion.”

Any comments, questions, criticisms, candid confessions, cash contributions?  Contact me at butchersaprons@mail.com.

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