Monday, May 18, 2015

The Conservative Invention of Obama or The Modern Prometheus

Yee haw, your ass is mine, Texas!

A Challenge to the Right

“I’m mad as Hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore.” – Chayefsky

“We'll fight the powers that be just
Don't pick our destiny 'cause
You don't know us, you don't belong.” – Twisted Sister

Today’s blog takes a little bit of an unusual and unexpected twist from our familiar progressive dissertations, for rather than addressing our normal audience and demographic group, those of us who were raised with the Smothers Brothers, Jefferson Airplane, Eugene McCarthy and George McGovern among the liberal lions whose life work and litany of opinions, points of view and accomplishments helped shape the open-minded ideas of so many, instead, we reach out and extend an olive branch (albeit, one chock-full of piney and thorny danger) to those who occupy and virulently defend the right flank of the American political system, the Republican and Conservative base, and their political representatives subsisting on the corporate dole who, in this modern Obama-era, have sadly and increasingly been dominated by the intolerant, the ignorant, the white is right crowd and the Christians in name only who far too willingly subvert Jesus’ message of love and tolerance for all, into one of hatred for anyone slightly differing from a narrow lifestyle and perspective.

All I Want is the Truth. Just Give Me Some Truth.

Hot on the heels of the latest sorrowful episode of that contagious conservative malady, Obama Derangement Syndrome, the outrageous allegation that we are just precious moments of freedom and liberty away from Jade Helm 15, big bad Barack’s invasion and occupation of Texas for the purpose of creating a liberal Utopia and theme park, Hussein-land, perhaps the time has come for a peaceable tete a tete between partisan participants, with an examination of some of the “truths” and “facts;” those less than prescient, perilous predictions that have been the immoral ammunition volleyed at this 44th Commander in Chief, lo these last 7 years (did a Right Winger shatter a mirror?) While just a stone’s throw away from Obama’s fare thee well and Hillary’s inauguration, somehow End Days yet remains at bay. We’re still waiting for Obama to kill our grandmothers, confiscate our guns, declare martial law, begin his dictatorship, hand over the U.S. to the U.N. one world government, terminate Constitutional rights, institute Sharia Law and incarcerate us all in FEMA prison camps.

Conservative cronies, while factual exchanges and encounters may not be your usual stock in trade, I beg of thee, fess up – free your souls and your consciences and finally admit that which has been the genuine motivation behind almost a decade of ugly and unbelievable prevarications. For the good of your long term mental health and well-being, and for the vigorous future of a nation that you declare great passion and patriotism for, acknowledge that the reason you accept and believe so many incredulous and impossible claims that have not, and never will come to pass; that the impetus for your irrational, unreasonable and illogical hatred toward Barack Hussein Obama is solely because his pigmentation is not as pale as you prefer for a president. Deep down inside, Tea-baggers, you truly knew that none of those ludicrous accusations could ever occur. You’re also well aware that he is neither a Muslim nor Kenyan born, that allowing tens of millions more American citizens access to affordable health care is not the worst thing since slavery, or Nazi Germany, and that our nation has not descended into a maddening maelstrom of Marxism (neither Karl nor Groucho.) If pressed in a court of law, hand upon the King James, you’d most likely confess that our President is also not the Anti-Christ. Not even this vilest and wiliest of Oval Office occupants can inhabit a fictional character.  You revile the President of the United States merely for his ebony hue. Just admit it, express it and let’s all move on to a brighter tomorrow. Share and shout out your truth to the world. Release your pent up resentment and your festering, furious foolishness. Announce your ire with the exuberance and gusto of a settee and loveseat winner on the “Price is Right.”

Children of Chayefsky

All Republicans, Conservatives, Tea Partiers, please partake of the following cleansing exercise – as if a cast member of the classic Paddy Chayefsky film “Network,” fling open your windows, lean as far out as your little bitter bodies will allow and cry out to the world at full lung volume and capacity, “I hate you because you’re black!” Repete - “Je vous déteste car vous're black!” Surely, no negative consequences will result and in the unlikely event that they do, compassionate citizens will feel it well-deserved, and prejudiced primates such as yourself will believe it justification for your asinine attitudes. Own your ignorance.

The hate filled harpies of the GOP and its affiliated organizations of contemptibly, close-minded conservatism suffer from the powerful paranoid belief that for the length of the Obama presidency they lost control of a world that they previously dominated, and so all of the ugly racism that most had hoped was left in the past, but instead was hidden and boiling and gestating beneath the surface, reemerged and was brought fully to the fore when a black man dared dwell in the White House.

In conclusion, more aggressively assertive aggravation with some mad, musical protestations from a group of guys who, from all obvious and outward indications, clearly have absolutely no intent on ever taking it, I wouldn’t even broach the subject with them if I were you.

Any comments, questions, criticisms, candid confessions, cash contributions?  Contact me at butchersaprons@mail.com.


  1. Excellent article.

    Sharing here: https://www.facebook.com/oxymoronvoter

  2. ha, a great read, thanks Jon.