Saturday, March 14, 2015

A Man Called Kucinich!

Dennis and Elizabeth Kucinich: A Marital Miracle in Ohio 

“There's no one more red, white and blue
So love me, love me, love me, I'm a liberal” – Phil Ochs

And now, some shallow, vaguely politically related, pointless silliness.

The frequent MSNBC appearances of reporter and pundit Jackie Kucinich, daughter of former Congressman and White House hopeful Dennis Kucinich, freshens one’s stale memories of that electoral, romantic curiosity that is the Kucinich marriage, first brought to entertaining light during the 2008 Presidential campaign.  If I may, let me illustrate this wonder a mere 7 years passed its point of relevance.

This is Dennis Kucinich.

This is his wife, Elizabeth Kucinich.

Once again, this is Dennis Kucinich.

This is his wife.

For proper perspective, this is Dennis and Elizabeth together.

Dennis Kucinich was born shortly after the conclusion of World War II, during the Truman Administration, in an era when Big Band music ruled the radio airwaves and everyone began their sentences with a smart alecky, “say” or “why I oughta.”  

Elizabeth Kucinich first brightened this weary planet 4 years after the cease fire ending the Vietnam War, when Jimmy Carter lusted in his Presidential heart, and Saturday Night Live entered its third season of changing the landscape of inconsistent television comedy.

She’s a statuesque 6 feet tall (in her seamed, silk-stockinged feet), a specimen worthy of origin on the island of Themyscira. He is listed as 5 foot 7 (when standing on the Manhattan White Pages, sporting Elizabeth’s open-toed pumps, or following an elongating session on the rack) a suitable resident of Middle-Earth.

They’ve been betrothed for a decade now, clearly, it works.  So, who am I to question the vagaries, the mysteries, the majesties of love? Needless to say, surely many a woman is attracted to the thoughtful, intelligent man (or so we can hope) and not just the bad boy, after all, not every xy resembles John Stamos (or even Anson Williams) but still…

Dennis Kucinich

Elizabeth Kucinich

The Reason for the Squeezin’ - Love and the Liberal

Congressman Kucinich is a good man, a caring man, a compassionate and humane man, who has done much good in his lifetime, and surely, by obvious evidence, performed some amazing and outstanding deeds in a previous life as well (but I gush, did I mention her English accent?)

The most logical explanation for this fairy tale love story – it’s because he’s a liberal, of course. We liberal men, one and all, without exception, are legendarily good lovers. Tender, generous, concerned, selfless – the usual liberal traits apply as much to the boudoir as they do the ballot box.  It’s the conservative male who proudly calls himself a Minute Man, packs an AK-47 but a puny pistol.

Dennis Kucinich’s wife

Newt Gingrich’s wife

The upshot of all this inanity, the lesson to be learned – never give up on your dreams, never believe an aspiration to be out of reach, or in the wise words of sage and philosopher Casey Kasem, “keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.” Dennis Kucinich is the regular guy’s beacon of hope.

Today’s concluding song, is in reality, somewhat inappropriate as it ridicules those of us with progressive leanings. But, then again, everyone can use some deflation every once in a while. Phil Ochs performs his folk classic, “Love Me, I’m a Liberal.”

Any comments, questions, criticisms, candid confessions, cash contributions?  Contact me at butchersaprons@mail.com.

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