Friday, April 18, 2014

Weird Science: Cosmos and the Hypocrisy of Science Deniers

“The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it.” – Neil deGrasse Tyson

Dark Ages:  From the fall of Rome in the 5th Century A.D. to the Restoration around the year 1000. An era of ignorance and superstition marked by repressiveness, a lack of enlightenment or advanced knowledge.

Dark Ages (deux): From the early 21st Century to unknown, born of the outrage and violent overreaction of America’s conservatives to the election of the country's first African-American president, giving rise to the unintelligencia and the age of idiocracy as foretold in Mike Judge’s prescient motion picture of the same name.  An era of ignorance and superstition, marked by repressiveness, a lack of enlightenment or advanced knowledge, the rejection of education, science, history and facts, with a sizeable increase in intolerance and bigotry justified by the misinterpretation of an ancient, sacred tome, known to believers as the Holy Bible.

Another week has passed with another television airing of Cosmos, and another series of Christian-Conservative craniums combusting in ways that even David Cronenberg could nary envision. So piqued are the crown of thorn throng that one would imagine they were solicited to succor a minority, harangued not to hate the homosexuals or asked to allow equal opportunity for women. And once again, science became irrationally controversial.  But one must wonder why, for ‘twas not always so.

Cosmos, 1980 - successful, celebrated, acclaimed, Carl Sagan becomes a rock star, and finally groupies flock to satisfy scientists.
Cosmos, 2014 - reviled, heinous, contentious, Neil de Grasse Tyson is branded brother to Beelzebub and a danger to our children. BLASPHEME!
And again, like Cindy Lou Who, we must query, “why, Santie Clause, why?”

We exist in a period of scientific advancement that should harken an ultimate age of enlightenment, information, education and knowledge. The extraordinary piece of technology on which you are reading these overwritten words does far more than just summon previously unimagined volumes and variety of pornography, it has made impossible achievements possible. Yet, here we find our sad selves on the precipice and precarious edge of a new Dark Ages led by the fear and witlessness of radical, religious fundamentalists who wage an unwinnable war against the clock and the calendar in a ludicrous and fruitless attempt to silence, stifle and destroy the forward movements of time and discovery.

”All those who think they can cherry-pick science simply don’t understand how science works.” – Neil deGrasse Tyson

For shame, so-called science deniers, you most ignoble, ignorant and duplicitous genus of modern species, you rail at progress and feign insult with your erroneous assumption of the elitism of education, asserting each to be offensive and incongruous to your pious underpinnings; but in practice and reality, you don’t deny science, you pick and choose what scientific innovations and developments suit your personal needs and lifestyle. Evolution – no, the personal pocket massager - yes.  Climate change – no, randy and salacious (my favorite 50’s, pop-music duo) Filipino Shemale internet erotica – yes.  The Big Bang Theory, the theory – no, the Big Bang Theory, the insipid television series – yes. Strontium 90 –no, AK-47 – yes.

Furthering this hazardous hike to Kiliminjaro-like heights of hypocrisy – a simple fact to ponder, you are utilizing either smartphone, tablet, PC or Mac to express righteous indignation at the irreligious intrusion of modernity and science into your humble, devout and God-fearing life – grasping the irony? But, please, hesitate not to put quill to papyrus and express your more sincere outrage in that manner.

“Enlightened religious people … don’t try to use the Bible as a textbook.” – Neil deGrasse Tyson

It’s well known that truth often harms those with immoveable, untenable and unwavering, moral outrage and perhaps once perusing this paragraph you will have wished you could have soothed your sufferings with the affordable offerings of the Affordable Care Act that you honorably declined, so gather some salve and a few Smurf bandages and steady for a factual encounter.  No episode or segment of Cosmos has ever intimated that science and faith are mutually exclusive or at vehement ideological odds. Au contraire, mon ami (pardon, care for a sip of my sancerre?) oftimes it has presented quite the converse conjecture. In the very premiere presentation, Dr. Tyson actually submitted that further discovery of the marvels and magnitude of our world, the Universe and the Cosmos, could evoke an even greater God, one whose realm and glory and majesty may extend far beyond the mere borders and boundaries and limits of our home planet into the barely imagined realms of all cosmos and creation. No, tis not the esteemed host and astrophysicist who disrespects your delicate religious sensibilities, rather  tis you, exultant and felicitously faithful flock, who are choosing to constrain the radiance and grandeur of the scale, possibilities and power of your adored deity.

Yup, this is Creationist "science."
Every Sunday, all over America, on many different channels, it is possible to see the representatives of one view presenting their opinion. How many programs are there on Darwin, compared to how many programs there are on the account in the first chapter of Genesis? The preponderance is… by far towards the creationists. If they were truly concerned with equal time… the first thing that they would do would be to preach Darwin from the pulpit.” - Carl Sagan

As the late, great Dr. Sagan has so eloquently, logically and easily dismissed the comical Creationist demands for equal time on Cosmos to dumb down America with yarns of Fred and Dino’s peaceful coexistence – we conclude, and anger just a few additional people with a tad more over-opinionated, left-wing, atheist, commie-pinko, sensational propaganda. Thank you.

Hanna/Barbera, Creationist pioneers
Too often the role of modern religions has not been about love, forgiveness and brotherhood, but rather about anger, complaint, whininess and self-pity.  These institutions of higher being seem ceaselessly insulted about some assumed slight, unearthing victimization and offense where none exist. Calm thyselves, beneficent brethren, you won. You dominate. 76% of Americans believe in the Judeo/Christian God, while only 4% identify themselves as Atheists.  Atheists are also the most hated minority in the country, 39.6% polled distrust we hate-filled heathens and 47.6% would disapprove of a child marrying one. Congratulations, oh intolerant, yet, superior faithful ones, you have defeated us doubters. You dictate culture, political policy and all aspects of ever day life, yet weep and wail like an abused and misused whelp whose very sustenance has been torn asunder!

Cosmos was not produced by a sinful and criminal cabal determined to take down all religions and civilized society as a whole. It’s nothing more than an educational science program, an entity that in more enlightened times garnered respect and appreciation. All are free to question Cosmos’ depiction and explanation of our past and evolution, and reject the repulsive and belittling idea that we very closely share minute chromosome variations with every other living creature on the planet, and instead prefer the perception that all mankind is a product of 6000 years of incest, chose your own morality.

Now, we further explore the Cosmos as we fly to the moon with Frank Sinatra.

Any comments, questions, criticisms, candid confessions, cash contributions? Contact me at butchersaprons@mail.com.