“The good thing about science is that it's true whether or
not you believe in it.” – Neil deGrasse Tyson
Dark Ages: From the fall of Rome in the 5th
Century A.D. to the Restoration around the year 1000. An era of ignorance and superstition
marked by repressiveness, a lack of enlightenment or advanced knowledge.
Dark Ages (deux):
From the early 21st Century to unknown, born of the outrage and violent
overreaction of America’s conservatives to the election of the country's first
African-American president, giving rise to the unintelligencia and the age of
idiocracy as foretold in Mike Judge’s prescient motion picture of the same
name. An era of ignorance and
superstition, marked by
repressiveness, a lack of enlightenment or advanced knowledge, the rejection of
education, science, history and facts, with a sizeable increase in intolerance
and bigotry justified by the misinterpretation of an ancient, sacred tome,
known to believers as the Holy Bible.
Another week has
passed with another television airing of Cosmos, and another series of Christian-Conservative
craniums combusting in ways that even David Cronenberg could nary envision. So piqued
are the crown of thorn throng that one would imagine they were solicited to succor
a minority, harangued not to hate the homosexuals or asked to allow equal
opportunity for women. And once again, science became irrationally
controversial. But one must wonder why, for ‘twas not always
so.
Cosmos, 1980 -
successful, celebrated, acclaimed, Carl Sagan becomes a rock star, and finally
groupies flock to satisfy scientists.
Cosmos, 2014 -
reviled, heinous, contentious, Neil de Grasse Tyson is branded brother to Beelzebub
and a danger to our children. BLASPHEME!
And again, like
Cindy Lou Who, we must query, “why, Santie Clause, why?”
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| Hero |
We exist in a
period of scientific advancement that should harken an ultimate age of
enlightenment, information, education and knowledge. The extraordinary piece of
technology on which you are reading these overwritten words does far more than
just summon previously unimagined volumes and variety of pornography, it has
made impossible achievements possible. Yet, here we find our sad selves on the precipice
and precarious edge of a new Dark Ages led by the fear and witlessness of
radical, religious fundamentalists who wage an unwinnable war against the clock
and the calendar in a ludicrous and fruitless attempt to silence, stifle and
destroy the forward movements of time and discovery.
 |
| Villain |
”All
those who think they can cherry-pick science simply don’t understand how
science works.” – Neil deGrasse Tyson
For
shame, so-called science deniers, you most ignoble, ignorant and duplicitous
genus of modern species, you rail at progress and feign insult with your erroneous
assumption of the elitism of education, asserting each to be offensive and
incongruous to your pious underpinnings; but in practice and reality, you don’t
deny science, you pick and choose what scientific innovations and developments suit
your personal needs and lifestyle. Evolution – no, the personal pocket massager
- yes. Climate change – no, randy and salacious
(my favorite 50’s, pop-music duo) Filipino Shemale internet erotica – yes. The Big Bang Theory, the theory – no, the Big
Bang Theory, the insipid television series – yes. Strontium 90 –no, AK-47 –
yes.
Furthering this hazardous
hike to Kiliminjaro-like heights of hypocrisy – a simple fact to ponder, you are
utilizing either smartphone, tablet, PC or Mac to express righteous indignation
at the irreligious intrusion of modernity and science into your humble, devout and
God-fearing life – grasping the irony? But, please, hesitate not to put quill
to papyrus and express your more sincere outrage in that manner.
“Enlightened
religious people … don’t try to use the Bible as a textbook.” – Neil deGrasse
Tyson
It’s well known
that truth often harms those with immoveable, untenable and unwavering, moral
outrage and perhaps once perusing this paragraph you will have wished you could
have soothed your sufferings with the affordable offerings of the Affordable Care
Act that you honorably declined, so gather some salve and a few Smurf bandages
and steady for a factual encounter. No
episode or segment of Cosmos has ever intimated that science and faith are
mutually exclusive or at vehement ideological odds. Au contraire, mon ami
(pardon, care for a sip of my sancerre?) oftimes it has presented quite the converse conjecture.
In the very premiere presentation, Dr. Tyson actually submitted that
further discovery of the marvels and magnitude of our world, the Universe and
the Cosmos, could evoke an even greater God, one whose realm and glory and
majesty may extend far beyond the mere borders and boundaries and limits of our
home planet into the barely imagined realms of all cosmos and creation. No, tis
not the esteemed host and astrophysicist who disrespects your delicate religious
sensibilities, rather tis you, exultant
and felicitously faithful flock, who are choosing to constrain the radiance and
grandeur of the scale, possibilities and power of your adored deity.
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| Yup, this is Creationist "science." |
“Every Sunday, all over America, on many different
channels, it is possible to see the representatives of one view presenting
their opinion. How many programs are there on Darwin, compared to how many
programs there are on the account in the first chapter of Genesis? The
preponderance is… by far towards the creationists. If they were truly concerned
with equal time… the first thing that they would do would be to preach Darwin
from the pulpit.” - Carl Sagan
As the late, great Dr. Sagan has so eloquently, logically
and easily dismissed the comical Creationist demands for equal time on Cosmos to
dumb down America with yarns of Fred and Dino’s peaceful coexistence – we conclude,
and anger just a few additional people with a tad more over-opinionated, left-wing,
atheist, commie-pinko, sensational propaganda. Thank you.
 |
| Hanna/Barbera, Creationist pioneers |
Too often the
role of modern religions has not been about love, forgiveness and brotherhood,
but rather about anger, complaint, whininess and self-pity. These institutions of higher being seem ceaselessly
insulted about some assumed slight, unearthing victimization and offense where
none exist. Calm thyselves, beneficent brethren, you won. You dominate. 76% of
Americans believe in the Judeo/Christian God, while only 4% identify themselves
as Atheists. Atheists are also the most
hated minority in the country, 39.6% polled distrust we hate-filled heathens
and 47.6% would disapprove of a child marrying one. Congratulations, oh
intolerant, yet, superior faithful ones, you have defeated us doubters. You dictate
culture, political policy and all aspects of ever day life, yet weep and wail
like an abused and misused whelp whose very sustenance has been torn asunder!
Cosmos was not
produced by a sinful and criminal cabal determined to take down all religions
and civilized society as a whole. It’s nothing more than an educational science
program, an entity that in more enlightened times garnered respect and appreciation.
All are free to question Cosmos’ depiction and explanation of our past and
evolution, and reject the repulsive and belittling idea that we very closely
share minute chromosome variations with every other living creature on the
planet, and instead prefer the perception that all mankind is a product of 6000
years of incest, chose your own morality.
Now, we further
explore the Cosmos as we fly to the moon with Frank Sinatra.
Any comments, questions,
criticisms, candid confessions, cash contributions? Contact me at butchersaprons@mail.com.
