Sunday, January 24, 2016

I Happen to Like New York – Dissing Cruz’s Dis

by nycityman

“I happen to like New York, I happen to love this town
I like the city air, I like to drink of it
The more I see New York, the more I think of it
I like the sight and the sound and even the stink of it
I happen to like New York” – Cole Porter

The Headline
 “Cruz slams Trump for holding ‘New York values’”

It’s not my usual practice to credit postings as written by nycityman, after all, this is but the hermetic undertaking of a solitary soul, and one who certainly holds neither illusions nor delusions that any other being (human or otherwise) would ever desire to pilfer credit or blame for these overly-written expressions of progressive dogma. But, in this instance, and in consideration of the subject about to commence,  that nom de blog has relevance and significance.

Apologies for the delinquency of this dissertation on a rapidly aging issue, but while it was still current, and perhaps more pertinent, your humble author was sailing the seven seas on a surprisingly disappointing Celebrity Constellation cruise, although one not nearly as disgustingly disappointing as the caustic Cruz about to be discussed. Never the less, the ire experienced about such an inappropriate affront on my fine city and its even finer population shall not easily be dissuaded.

The Quote
“I think he may shift in his new rallies to playing ‘New York, New York’ because Donald comes from New York and he embodies New York values” – Rafael Edward “Ted” (as in the substantially more well-liked marijuana inhaling, talking stuffed bear) Cruz

Silver Spoon. Brass Balls. Tinhorn.
Oh my dear, Rafael, with some hesitance to communicate so crudely, I must impart a major F.U. in your specifically odious direction for such an unworthy, untrue and uncalled for insult. New York is the most diverse, tolerant, accepting and open-minded city in the country, if not in the entirety of this big blue marble we all call home.  Donald J. Trump, this additional object of your wrath, is the exact opposite - a resident, perhaps, of  some unseemly, Bizarro World version of our beloved Gotham – he, a hate-filled, bigoted, Dr. Moreau-like, half-man, half-hog (“are we not men?” in this case, sadly not) who not only rejects “New York values” but by all evidence, embraces no values whatsoever. The Donald may have hatched here, but he's no New Yorker. He's a Trumpian - a worthless, soulless cypher whose every selfish thought and egomaniacal deed serves solely for the benefit and the concern of Donald Trump; with particular satisfaction enjoyed when the opportunity arises to hurt and demean others while in the process of pursuing gain for self. We, New Yorkers, those who unfortunately know him best, loathe him, and angrily bristle at the concept that he, in any manner, represents the greatest city in the world or its citizenry.

The Canuck
Regarding Cruz’s implications, when railing somewhat vaguely against the multi-cultural metropolitans who reside in the heralded Big Apple, many have already suggested that this Cuban/Canadian (Desi Arnaz joins the Mounties?) but by no means Presidential eligible, non-natural born, relatively recent American citizen’s real desire was to denigrate and call out by name, Liberal New York Jews (Bernie Sanders?) While clearly suggesting validity to this theory by merely mentioning it, we here at “… and several butcher’s aprons” shall let the exact interpretation, intention and inference of the remark remain known only within the vile, Hellish confines of Cruz’s dangerously demented cerebellum.  

 But, still, it’s curiouser and curiouser what Rafael finds so scary and objectionable in our New York lifestyle and sensibility, is it our peaceful and harmonious diversity? This is a man who spans three different nationalities and is therefore a living, breathing, yet, not so shining, example of diversity himself. Is it the way in which members of every imaginable ethnicity, national origin, religion and sexual orientation stand pacifically shoulder to shoulder (and bolder to bolder) in our crowded subways, streets, workplaces, parks, playgrounds, stadiums, arenas, taverns and every other public and private venue one can conjure? Is the benevolent brotherhood shared among strangers and the vast variety of human kind who co-exist here repellant to a man so filled with intolerance, ill-will and unfocused animosity?  Is our prolific potpourri of thought and opinion too threatening for a tiny mind and warped consciousness to encounter? Fear not, frightened little one, for although there may be eight million opinions and viewpoints in the Naked City,  when push comes to shove and trouble presents itself, we have, time and time again, come together as a united front in succor, support, understanding and aide; as we did on September 11th and the trying period that followed, and to a lesser extent, just a year or so later, when the massive blackout struck, and again, complete strangers, yet neighbors, always neighbors, in our hearts and in our realities, gathered in mutual need and empathy.  There in lies the truth behind it all, New Yorkers are an empathetic people, and empathy is an essential emotion clearly lacking from the makeup of both Donald and Rafael.

“A bad day in New York City is still better than a good day anywhere else.”

 “Once you have lived in New York and made it your home, no place else is good enough.” – John Steinbeck

Cruzin’ for a Bruisin’
When America was under attack it was New York and New Yorkers who took the hit for the nation. We suffered, we mourned, we became one - a family, and then we rose again, stronger and more united than ever before.  And, New York remains the prime target from not only Rafael, but also thousands of other repulsive, violent and mentally disturbed extremists from every corner of this corner-less globe.

So, in less than rational reaction, may I present this iteration of New York sensibility – like the brave and adventurous conestoga riders of America’s yesteryears, travel across the great 48, Ted, journey to our five fabulous boroughs, and dare share your preposterous postulations, your repellant rancor, say it right to my face, and discover another part of New York values. But, of course, as any regular reader can attest, nycityman is a man of non-violence, peace and understanding (kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya) and would attempt to discourage such thinking with intelligence and logic; and only once upon failing with that, might find the consideration of a Joe Pepitone signature Louisville Slugger upside the head a reasonable alternative of persuasion.


“I happen to like New York, I happen to love this burg
And when I have to give the world my last farewell
And the undertaker comes to ring my funeral bell
I don't wanna go to heaven, don't wanna go to hell
I happen to like New York”

 Any comments, questions, criticisms, candid confessions, cash contributions? Contact me at butchersaprons@mail.com.