Friday, January 30, 2015

Conservative Conversation – Voices of the Intolerant, the Ignorant and the Hate-Filled

“Unicorns, leprechauns, gay marriages in Iowa — these are all things you will never find because they don’t exist.” – Rep. Steve King

“Everybody's talking at me.
I don't hear a word they're saying,
Only the echoes of my mind.” – Fred Neil

Modern day Conservatives spew vapid, venomous and violent rhetoric like oil pipelines spew toxic tar sands, spreading fear and hatred through flagrant fabrications and felonious falsehoods. Equal parts moronic and malevolent, poisonous prevarication is the Right’s calling card, their modus operandi, and the very backbone that vainly buttresses their ever weakening and waning medieval ideology.

There are numerous symposiums throughout the year in which crowds of Conservatives convene to pledge undying devotion and fervent fealty to their billionaire and corporate overlords; among them CPAC, the Family Values Conference, the KKK Clambake and Obama in Effigy Lynching, and the Adolph Eichmann Sadie Hawkins Day Dance. It is at these meetings of the mindless where traditional Conservative values of stealing from the poor to give to the rich, denying women control of their health care decisions, closing school food programs for impoverished children, blocking voting rights for minorities, eliminating environmental protections, reducing benefits to seniors and veterans, kicking puppies and tying damsels in distress to train tracks are espoused and disguised in Orwellian verbiage for easier sale to the anesthetized intelligence of the Fox News crowd.

3 out of every 4 Republicans are unemployed - takers!

Iowa Congressman, Steve King, a Tea Party favorite who makes John Birch seem like Bernie Sanders, George W. like Albert Einstein and Charles Manson like Mahatma Gandhi, recently held one such smarmy assembly of 2016 Republican presidential hopefuls at an event entitled The Iowa Freedom Summit.  In between turns passionately puckering King’s pasty posterior, this carnival freak show of Fools on the (Capitol) Hill and Cuckoo Nest escapees held political court.  And when this Hee Haw troupe speaks specifically to their base of Deliverance dwellers, maliciously memorable bon mots fill the air like buckshot at a Palin wedding.

In mid-receipt of puckering
In addition to the aforementioned contemporary Tory tete a tetes, the quotes to come have been culled from a variety of GOP gatherings and sources, and represent just a fraction of the sort of irrational, inane, unadulterated hatred and stupidity that our President has faced, and classily faced down, lo these last 6 years.

Issues and Non-Answers – Words from the Unwise

A Woman’s Right to Choose - “[America has to import so many workers because] for the last 35 years we have aborted more than a million people who would have been in our workforce.”
On Climate Change - “A beheading is a far greater threat to an American than a sunburn.” – Mike Huckabee

Marriage Equality - “Isn’t that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage?” 
Fooling the Electorate - “We need to be the party of the worker. Why? Well, it’s just good politics. We don’t win because too many people think we don’t care about them.” - Rick Santorum

Church and State - "Democrats are telling the Catholic Church to 'change your religious beliefs or we'll use our power in the federal government to shut down your charities and your hospitals.’"
??? - “Goshdarnit, whodidily, I'm conservative… The word tells us you shall know them by their fruits.” - Ted Cruz.

Lies and Paranoia - “This administration has so many Muslim Brotherhood members that have influence that they just are making wrong decisions for America."- Louis Gohmert

Health Care and Slavery - “With regard to the idea of whether you have a right to health care, you have to realize what that implies… it means you believe in slavery.”
America as a sovereign nation - ''I guarantee it's one of their long-term goals, to have one sort of borderless mass continent.'' – Rand Paul

Incoherence, thy name is Sarah - “It is good that we have a deep bench and its primary competition that will surface the candidate who’s up to the task and unify and this person has to because knowing what the media will do throughout all of 2016 to all of us it’s going to take more than a village to beat Hillary.”
“Another Latin word, status quo, and it stands for, ‘Man, the middle-class everyday Americans are really gettin’ taken for a ride.’ That's status quo.”– Sarah Palin

A Steve King Sampler –
“… my wife lives here with me, and I can tell you, Mr. Speaker, she’s at far greater risk being a civilian on Washington D.C. than an average civilian in Iraq.”
“It turns out to be the best vote that I cast was my ‘no’ vote to the $51.5 billion to Hurricane Katrina.”
“Eskimos got along all these centuries without fruit and vegetables.”
“Now Obama also makes Hugo Chavez look like a piker.”
“110 deaths is not alarming to me.”

This magazine doo-hickey cost me this many moneys
Perhaps even more concerning is this second set of quotations that come, not from the professional, Congressional haters, suckling from the Koch Industries teat for their political careers and Republican riches, but rather from “just plain folk,” ordinary, everyday Americans who derive their animosity, not from profit motive or concern for political advancement, but through ignorance, bigotry, hostility and undo influence of their elected rancorous representatives. As these are not public figures their witlessness and enmity shall remain uncredited.

People, People Who Hate People
(original misspellings and grammatical errors intact)

“Obama and the Clintons better remember thay have children. You can hide BUT YOU CAN BE FOUND Obama, Hillary and Old Billie play boy.” – Shirley M.

“Hillary is a KILLER, that is all.” – Thomas M.

Kick out every Dem politican......they are toxic! Go the KKK and Tea Party..!!!” – Karl G.

“I hope they see my post. Obama and Ms. Clinton are a pair of anti American a**holes and so are anyone who voted for or would vote for either one of them. He need good god fearing people like Ms . Sarah Palin in control of my country, it's not their country.” – Steve C.

“She (Hillary Clinton) is nothing to me but a Muslim lover.” – Marilyn B.

“Bin laden said...we will attack from within.!!!!wow what a coincident !!! next guy up ??? barrack hussein obama....wow, .....how fkn stupid can americans be ???the ones who voted for him deserve to hang (with him and his family and co-horts), and let us purge this country and make it great again...............cmoon, led by a black liar???? r u all just plain stupid?????” - Rob. P


You better not have just told me the kitchen closed at 1! YOU BETTER NOT HAVE JUST SAID THAT!!
One may critique this posting with the claim that anyone can cherry pick and highlight only the craziest quotes from our sizeable and opinionated population, but these aren’t outliers or exceptions, these are typical voices of 21st century American Conservatism, this is the thinking of the mainstream Republican Party.  Should you hold the belief that it would be equally easy to uncover such outrageous and contemptible statements from those on the Left, please feel free to do so and share.  The Conservative ideal world is an egomaniacal Ayn Rand paradise where all that matters is concern for self, even at the detriment of others. A Republican Utopia would, in reality, be a nightmarish dystopia.

Today’s musical commentary is a classic from the soundtrack of Midnight Cowboy, performed by the late, great Harry Nilsson- Everybody’s Talkin’.

Any comments, questions, criticisms, candid confessions, cash contributions?  Contact me at butchersaprons@mail.com.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Bellevue or the White House – Ben Carson M.D. (Me Doctor)

“It's my life and I'll do what I want
It's my mind and I'll think like I want
Show me I'm wrong, hurt me sometime
But someday I'll treat you real fine.”
- The Animals

It’s freshly 2015, bonne annĂ©e mes amis, and in the Machiavellian, machination-filled mud pit that is U.S. politics that means it’s 2016 part one:  Rise of the Machines. Let the clash of dumbed-down dogma and inflexible ideology commence.  To the victors go the spoils, and to those select billionaires who wager on the proper ponies shall go the fulfillment of their needs and the caretaking of their concerns.  Should those one-percenter desires on occasion accord with those wishes of us wee folk, financially speaking, mores the better.

And to kick off the run-up to the 2016 campaign, submitted for your approval, a fresh feature -  it’s time for America’s favorite new game show, “Bellevue or the White House” (frenzied and only slightly intoxicated studio audience enthusiastically and energetically restates the title in shouts of joy and exultation) where you, the home viewer, get to determine whether potential Republican presidential candidates more appropriately deserve a warm bed in famed Bellevue Hospital’s psychiatric unit, or a comfy chair in the Oval Office.
Canadian comedy icon, David Steinberg, and the original "Me Doctor"
This week’s target, rather, contestant, is a favorite of pre-school graduate and recent brain donor Sarah Palin, the Saudi-run Fox Fake News Channel and the late Charles Guiteau; and along with Allen West he’s one of the only two African-Americans out of the 44.5 million in our country that give Teapublicans an opportunity to pronounce “see, we love the Negros, and that Jackie Robinson was a heck of a ballplayer!”  He’s Dr. Ben Carson, a brilliant and pioneering neurosurgeon whose politics are only slightly right of Jefferson Davis and whose possible personality disorder only a tad less alarming than Lynette “Squeaky” Fromme’s.

"They like us, they really like us! Don't they?"
Before beginning our contest, a little background information about today’s participant, and truth be told, Dr. Carson has quite the impressive resume. With a bachelor’s degree from Yale and an M.D. from the University of Michigan, Carson was a professor of neurosurgery, oncology and plastic surgery at prestigious Johns Hopkins University Hospital; as well as its director of pediatric neurosurgery. He was the first neurosurgeon to successfully separate conjoined twins joined at the head, and a 2008 recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom.  Yet, Dr. Carson unfortunately stated and believes the quotes that are soon to follow, providing tragic proof that one can be intelligent, well-educated, accomplished and still a few scalpels shy of a full surgical kit.

These are his words.  We give you the facts, and you make the determination – democracy at its finest.

One Doctor’s Prescription for Disaster – Carson in his own words

His admiration for ISIS and his comparison of them to our Founding Fathers –
“A bunch of rag-tag militiamen defeated the most powerful and professional military force on the planet. Why? Because they believed in what they were doing. They were willing to die for what they believed in. Fast forward to today. What do we have? You’ve got ISIS.”

Marriage equality –
“Marriage is between a man and a woman. No group, be they gays, be they NAMBLA, be they people who believe in bestiality.”

Marijuana legislation –
“… politicians like President Obama and Eric Holder are surreptitiously encouraging marijuana use in order to create a dumb citizenry. That way, doped-up Americans will be distracted by controversies like the name of the Washington Redskins instead of focusing on stories about Benghazi and Fast and Furious.” 

Modern science and Creationism – “I don’t believe in evolution”

Health care reform –
“…the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery.” 

The police shooting of Michael Brown –
“I think a lot of it really got started in the ’60s with the ‘me generation.’ ‘What’s in it for me?’ I hate to say it, but a lot of it had to do with the women’s lib movement.

??? –
“You know, we live in a Gestapo age”
"I mean, [our society is] very much like Nazi Germany.”

Ah, the classic, and should be verboten, Nazi and Slavery comparisons, those pathetic, heinous and desperate tactics  so frequently employed by the fringe Right Wing in lieu of genuine thought, ideas or sanity.

“I stand by those (remarks); I don’t think there’s anything crazy at all.” – Dr. Ben Carson

Only you can prevent this man from becoming our next President. It’s your life; you can do what you want.  And with that forced last thought as a tenuous connection,  and therefore the weakest segue to a song in the history of the concept of synergy,  an nycityman favorite,  rapidly-aging rapscallion that I be,  Eric Burdon and the Animals perform, “It’s My Life.”

Any comments, questions, criticisms, candid confessions, cash contributions?  Contact me at butchersaprons@mail.com.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Je Suis Charlie

Je Suis Parisien

We remember and honor the 12 lives lost today in the beautiful city of Paris. They stood boldly in defense of a vital, uncompromisable principle and a foundation of freedom, against the madness and irrationality of fundamentalism. If we relinquish the right to question, critique and satirize the absolutism and authority of faith and religion, or government and industry for that matter, we surrender free and open expression of thought and our humanity, and the needed and beneficial actions and behaviors that so often follow.  We must not allow fundamentalism to replace freedom, nor fear to usurp liberty.

Anyone who has ever written or spoken a public word is indebted. 

"The values that we share with the French people, a universal belief in freedom of expression is something that won't be silenced because of senseless violence" - President Barack Obama

"Find the cost of freedom buried in the ground.
Mother earth will swallow you, lay your body down."